If a Christian was on a mission to study the Bible to retrieve the God-given roles for a Christian marriage, he or she might be surprised to find that roles are generally identified. Largely missing are the prescriptive details – the “how to's.”

The ideas of leading, loving, serving as a head, and instructing children are attributed to the role of husbands. Submitting, honoring, respecting, and loving the family through the home are attributed to wives.

General encouragement for men to provide for the family and general encouragement for wives to care for their children, administrate the household, and love their husbands are also stated in Scripture.

Yet, godly elders are also characterized by their management of the household and keeping their children under control, which underscores the fact that domestic roles within the home or outside the home are not confined to only wives or only husbands (1 Timothy 3).

When male and female roles are emphasized, it doesn’t take long for 1 Corinthians 11:3 to be brought up. Some authors and teachers will draw from this text the idea that all women must by nature submit to men. Of course, if it is by nature, then it would be only natural, wouldn’t it?

Why would submission and headship responsibilities need to be commanded if men naturally are heads (as opposed to the view that headship and submission serve as an administrative office of the home)? And why would the apostle encourage the wife to arrange herself under the leadership of her husband if women are naturally and essentially in a state of submission? 

Others confine the roles to husbands and wives in marriage, but, yet again, argue that leadership and submission is rooted in the essence and nature of manhood and womanhood. Well, since 1 Corinthians seems to be so pivotal, let’s take a look at the text.

Read 1 Corinthians 11:1-3 and identify the title used to refer to the person of whom God is said to be the head. This title is very important. The apostle wrote, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” The title underlined twice in this verse is “Christ.”

Now, in light of that title, ask yourself whether Paul is referring to the human nature or the divine nature of the person under the headship of God. If you said, "human," that would be correct because the title Christ is referring to is the Messianic role or administration of Jesus. Why is this important?

The Gospel of John affirms that Jesus is not only God but that He is one with the Father (John 10:30) and shared the glory of the Father (John 17:1-5) before the creation of the world. To share the glory of the Father includes all of the divine attributes including truth, justice, holiness, power, omniscience, omnipresence, eternality, and many more.

Christ’s power and glory is not subordinate to the Father as eternal Son for He is equal with the Father, but in the administrative role of Messiah, his power and glory according to the human nature is subordinated to the Father.

An ancient Christian and reformed interpretive lens was often employed, based on biblical precedent, to honor the unity and harmony of Scripture. This hermeneutic attributed human attributes to Christ’s human nature and divine attributes to his divine nature while acknowledging that both human and divine attributes are appropriately applied to Christ’s person.

So, for instance, the church said that Christ suffered and died according to His human nature, but not according to His eternal divine nature and Christ is infinite according to His divine nature, but finite according to his human nature, while the Son of God (second person of the Godhead) died on the cross and eternally lives and rules.

All three realities are true because they are really operating according to different spheres of theology. Furthermore, Christ was forsaken by His Father’s favorable presence according to His human nature while enjoying the eternal communion of His Father according to His divine nature for He is one with the Father, very man and yet very God.

This means that Christ’s submission is rooted not in His essential divinity as very God, but in His sacrificial, voluntary, condescending (to stoop down) act of love as very man, as Messiah-Christ assumed at His incarnation and the virgin birth. (Certainly, we can say, according to Christ’s person as Son He both is Eternal, Holy, and Transcendent and died, imputed with sin, and humble. Yet, it is fitting to delineate His eternality, holiness, and transcendence to His divinity and his death, guilt - which was our sin imputed to his account - and humility to His humanity.)

Christ’s administrative role of Messianic submission is rooted in His voluntary, sacrificial act to assume human nature for His salvation work.

Now, if we root Christ’s submission in His divine essence, we suggest that Christ is substantially less than the Father in glory and honor. And if one misinterprets 1 Corinthians 11, he or she may erroneously connect the man and woman’s relationship to this idea of essential subordination and falsely assert that the man by nature is superior and the woman by essence is inferior.

This bad theology has led to many abuses. Certainly, you can think of many abusive conclusions when one’s very nature is portrayed as inferior and another superior, not to mention the damage that such a doctrine does to the creation of man and woman as equal image bearers of their Creator.

On the other hand, if we correctly connect roles to voluntary, sacrificial responsibilities for administrating God’s house as stewards of His grace, the entire foundation changes. Ephesians 5 exhorts the wife to submit, or to arrange herself under the leadership of her husband.

In light of the example of Christ's submission to authority delineated in 1 Peter 2:19-25, this role or household administration of submission is a gracious, voluntary act of sacrificial love to minister to her husband for the glory of Jesus. The foundation then for administrative roles is based upon gracious stewardship rather than compulsion.

The authority for submission is not given to the husband to wield over the wife for they are equal in Christ (Galatians 3:28). Rather the authority is wielded by the Spirit of Christ in her heart, grounded in her right standing with God, guided by her freedom of conscience according to Scripture and motivated by her love and thanksgiving for God through Christ.

Likewise, the husband’s role is to sacrificially lead by laying down his life for his wife. He is called to spiritually die daily for her (see Ephesians 5). This authority for servant-leadership does not reside in the hands of his woman, but is empowered by the Spirit of Christ in his heart, grounded in his right standing with God, guided by his freedom of conscience according to Scripture, and motivated by his love and thanksgiving for God through Christ.

In other words, both husband and wife are empowered by the gospel to spiritually die daily to themselves to be spiritually renewed daily to live for Christ so that the fruit of this gospel power produces a sacrificial, loving, voluntary act of serving one another (Romans 6).

The husband employs his heart, ability, and strength for the advancement, edification, and honor of his woman; and the wife employs her giftedness, skill, wisdom, and beauty for the encouragement, promotion, and glory of her man.

All of these gifts are exactly that, grace gifts. Grace gifts are not conditioned by manipulation, power-struggle, and self-promotion. Grace gifts are unconditional. Yes, this will take a miracle; a supernatural, heavenly, divine work rooted in the design of the Father, through the architecture of the Son, by the ministry of the Spirit.

Let me give some words of caution. Since the call to servant leadership and submission is rooted in the administrative familial roles in keeping with sacrificial love, not essence, the husband and wife also have the freedom to obey God rather than man when a spouse is demanding that the other behave in a way that is displeasing to the clear command of Scripture.

But also let’s be careful that we do not use this God-given privilege of freedom to deny the opportunity to prefer one another’s interests in issues of low priority as we are taught by God’s Word and Spirit in Philippians 2:1-10.

Finally, it would be wise to be cautious of using the Old Testament pattern under the Old Covenant for developing a paradigm for men’s and women’s roles. The whole book of Hebrews is devoted to reminding believers that the Old Covenant has been rendered obsolete for the reason that the Old Covenant served as a type and shadow of gospel realities.

The precepts of the Old Covenant established many behaviors, customs, and situations that focused on separating God from people, Israel from the Gentiles, men from women, parents from children, and priests from people in order to reveal through type, picture, and shadow that sinners are separated from God and in need of a Savior as prophet, priest, and king.

The prophetic office united sinners to God through His Word. The priestly office united sinners to God through His salvation. The kingly office united sinners to God through His rule. The Old Covenant Law points sinners to the New Covenant Grace, in summary, Law and Gospel.