Dave Harvey’s book; When Sinners Say “I Do” seeks to help married couples and also those who are preparing for marriage be aware of some of the challenges in marriage and how God’s grace helps believing couples navigate them.

Harvey dives right in and highlights the reality that is present in both the husband and the wife in marriage. This approach gets at the heart of the problem. Understanding the deep-seated nature of sin within us is one of the first steps in addressing the problems we may face in our marriages.

Harvey says, “The nature of sin, you see, is war. Sin creates war—war with God, war with others, and war within yourself.” This helps the reader appreciate the seriousness of sin. The warzone of marriage created by sin is also the battlefield where sanctification takes place. God uses marriage in our lives to fulfill his purpose of conforming us more and more to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).

Our marriages can survive and thrive if we consistently listen not to the voice of the world but the voice of the word of God. Harvey hits the nail on the head when he says, “What we believe about God determines the quality of our marriage.” Our marriages are not just about us and our spouses, they are about what we together without spouses believe to be true about God.

If we view God as exacting, judgmental, grumpy, and distant, we will begin to behave in these ways with our spouses. On the other hand, if we know God as a loving, forgiving, patient, merciful father, then we will extend these same blessings to each other in marriage. Realizing that our marriages are not dependent purely on our willpower to endure is extremely freeing.

Harvey says, “It’s a wonderful, freeing thing to realize that the durability and quality of your marriage is not ultimately based on the strength of your commitment to your marriage. Rather, it’s based on something completely apart from your marriage: God’s truth; truth we find plain and clear on the pages of Scripture.” The deeper we sink our roots into the voice of God in his word, and his wisdom for us, the stronger our marriages will become by his grace.

Our greatest source of comfort and hope then in marriage is that we have a Savior who will never leave us or forsake us. He is ever for us, even right now, in heaven interceding on our behalf. There are times in marriage when we are faced with our own weaknesses, mistakes, sins, and regrets.

It’s at these moments we find a Savior who is sufficient for us, who is so committed to us that he went to the cross for our sake. He is the model husband, giving himself for his bride in self-sacrificial love. And at times when we fail to be like him as husbands, he doesn’t abandon us but holds us fast in his faithfulness. He is the one who cleanses us from sin and puts us back on the path of love towards our spouses.

He already knows everything there is to know about us, even the deepest and darkest secrets of our hearts, yet he loves us more than we can know. He is fully committed to working on us and with us in our marriages. He will never let us go. He is not done with us.

No wonder Harvey says, “God pursues sinners. God’s love is relentless. Even when we are blinded by sin, he refuses to let go.” By his Spirit and through his word we are being made more and more like him in our callings to be husbands and wives. What a wonderful savior we have.

This book points the reader in the direction of our loving Savior whose grace is sufficient for us in our marriages, leading us to be gracious to each other. This book also comes with a study guide to help those preparing for marriage. This book along with the study guide can be a helpful resource to help prepare couples for marriage, especially under the oversight of pastors in their local churches.

This book is not a substitute for the Means of Grace that God has appointed for husbands and wives to grow. While this book does not solve all the problems that couples may face in their marriages, it is a helpful conversation starter for those who are entering into marriage as well as those who are married.